There Is A Limit

Being white, I don’t have to deal with the insidious jokes about race that black people have to endure.  Sometimes it seems to me that white people think that as soon as they have a cordial relationship with a black person they are free to revert to being tacky, because now that they are “buddies”, they think the black person will “understand”  and think it’s funny too.  Not. 

The same thing holds true with relationships between men and women, where men think that when you develop a cordial relationship it means that they can make jokes about stereotypical female qualities and you will laugh.  Not.  But I’m not a person who looks for discrimination, therefore I don’t often find it.  But there are times….

So yesterday was a really tough day for me, workwise.  It started with a conversation with a man we will call Guy #1, who was feeling very frustrated about his communications with his boss.  She’s female, her boss is female, and her boss is female too.  He said it took him forever to understand that when his boss says, “Would you mind doing X”  that what she really means is, “Do X”.  I hate women managers who are like this.  It only confuses things.  I told him that I was never like that as a manager.  If you say “Would you mind”, it sounds like it’s optional.  So he says, it sounds like you communicate like a man.  I said, I don’t know that I would go that far….

He says he has the same pr0blems communicating with his wife, and proceeds to tell me more than I ever wanted to know.  At this point, enter Guy #2.   He comes in at about the time I’m saying it’s important just to be clear.  And he says, “But don’t you sometimes find that you have to clarify?  Like once you’ve asked nicely, don’t you find that you have to take the person aside and say Just get your ass out there and do what I said”?   Well, no, I don’t.  Because I would never let it get to that point. 

Enter Guy #3!  He says to Guy #1, I’m surprised to see you here.  And Guy #1, who had been having such a sensitive conversation with me, said, “I was afraid not to come.  What is the work equivalent of being pussy-whipped?”  I felt like I had been slapped.  I said, “I don’t believe you just said that”, and walked away.  I have a feeling that Guy #3 probably told him he blew it, but I don’t know. 

Men.  His whole demeanor changed as soon as there were other men around to witness what he said.  It drives me nuts.  I was on his side, and seriously understood the issues he faced, until he decided to lump me in with the enemy.  You know, Women. 

I am a sucker for the underdog, but I draw the line at biting the hand that feeds you.  Don’t expect me to be sympathetic to you if you are willing to throw me under the bus in order to seem more macho.  There is a limit to my sympathy.

I’m In the Mood

Some people are just really hard to please.  Already, eehard has disparaged my choice of Bonnie Raitt, saying it sounded like blues for white people.  Not authentic enough, I guess.  Well, my girl can hold her own with any of the classic blues stars you care to name. 

As an example, I was going to post a video of her with BB King, but then there was this one with her and John Lee Hooker.  Warning:  don’t play this before 9:00 P.M.  Or if you must, send the kids to play outside on the swing set. 

Something To Talk About

Fair warning:  I am about to post another video, and if you’re sick of me doing that, don’t blame me.  Blame eehard, who taught me how to do it.  I’m truly like the kid with the proverbial new toy. 

And speaking of eehard, he asked that I desist from posting videos where he was forced to watch white people dance.  And who can blame him?  I myself have to cover my eyes and peek through my fingers, kind of like you do at horror movies. 

So I’m posting a video of my all-time favorite girl singer, Bonnie Raitt.  (No dancing involved.) For starters, I adore the blues, and Bonnie Raitt is above all, a blues singer.  As I mentioned earlier, being able to hear the blues at any little street-corner bar is the only thing I miss about living in Memphis, except for the barbecue.  I know many people who don’t like the blues:  they find it monotonous.  I never, ever tire of it. 

So without further ado, let’s give ‘em something to talk about, baby.  A little mystery to figure out….