First, a Fakename health update. I was suddenly stricken on Wednesday evening with what, according to the doctor, is a stomach virus they are seeing a lot of. I knew I was in trouble on Wednesday evening when I threw up, because that never happens to me. Some people can get squeamish and nauseated at the sight of a raw oyster, or of a picture of certain delicacy from the Phillipines (duck embryos) which shall remain unpictured here. Not me. I have the classic iron stomach. I don’t eat much at a time, but I can and will eat almost anything (exceptions: duck embryos and mountain oysters). The last time I even felt queasy was over three years ago, and then I turned out to have appendicitis.
So as I said, I knew this was something out of the ordinary. Therefore, I went to the doctor on Thursday morning, which I try to avoid unless gangrene seems to be setting in. The doctor gave me a prescription to control the nausea and vomiting, and basically said, Good luck. It will take 1-3 days for this to run its course. It will get worse before it gets better. Come back if you get a whole lot worse.
By 3:00 P.M. Thursday, I was asleep, and slept off and on until 8:00 A.M. this morning. During the two short periods I was awake in between these times, I mostly did two things: a) watched several episodes of the Twilight Zone marathon on the Sci-Fi Channel, b) became entranced by weird news on MSN.com.
A lot of weird news seems to happen in Russia. There’s this one: “Feral Girl gets brought up by mongrels in Russia”. http://www.mosnews.com/weird/2009/07/02/veronika/ She lived in the back yard with her grandmother’s dogs. The same dogs who killed her brother in that same back yard two years ago. And this is not the only time this has happened.
And this one: “Accident-free crossing crossing built for frogs in Belarus”. http://www.mosnews.com/weird/2009/06/13/frogtunnel/ Here in Tallahassee, there is a hue and cry over a planned wildlife tunnel costing $3.4 million that is popularly known as the “Turtle Tunnel”. Some senator from Oklahoma (Oklahoma!) made it his Number Four example of how the stimulus money is going to wasteful projects. I hear there is a planned “Tea Party” to protest it tomorrow. Senator Whoever needs to confine himself to Bleeping Oklahoma, and not concern himself with Florida, where it’s possible his only knowledge is confined to Disneyworld, if that.
And more news from Russia: a guy who was breaking up with his girlfriend made the mistake of drinking too much and falling asleep in their apartment, which he was moving out of. Hint: Never, ever do this unless you’re a very light sleeper. She attached some firecrackers to his penis, and lit them. This isn’t really even funny, since he may not live. http://www.mosnews.com/weird/2009/05/25/1909/ And the question is whether he will even want to live.
In our own Tallahassee version of weird news, a 14-year old girl was killed on Tuesday while riding north from here on the way to Georgia with her father. While we’ve been hoping for rain, my limited knowledge of meteorology tells me that the end of a heat wave such as we’ve been having often results in violent storms, and such was the case. So at the exact moment this young girl was traveling, an oak tree fell, crushing the car and killing her. It’s almost too strange to comprehend. If they had been going slower…or faster…or started on the trip a minute later or a minute earlier…I’ts like The Bridge Over The River Kwai.
Besides being fascinated by things that don’t usually attract my attention, and feeling sick, and possibly being delerious (did I mention I have a fever?), I am disappointed. I had important plans for this weekend. Bridge collapses and falling oak trees and viruses just don’t operate on your schedule.
12 responses so far ↓
eehard // July 4, 2009 at 12:09 pm |
That whole firecracker thing was uncalled for. That was Lorena Bobbit on crack!
fakename2 // July 4, 2009 at 7:38 pm |
The punishment was a little steep, but he did deserve something for being so clueless. I vote for him as eehard’s next Dumbazz of the Week.
eehard // July 4, 2009 at 7:49 pm |
Being a card carrying member of the sex that has a penis, I vote for life inside a lesbian gulag for that phallobomber. And since when do you blame the victim?
fakename2 // July 4, 2009 at 8:32 pm |
Hey! Try not to take it so personally
I’m just saying there are some places you should never fall asleep. Like inside the lion exhibit at the zoo, and your girlfriend’s house after telling her you’re leaving her to go back to your wife.
eehard // July 4, 2009 at 8:34 pm |
Okay, he gets the dumbazz of the week award but with sympathy. We now know which head he was thinking with.
Emperor Ming // July 5, 2009 at 6:04 am |
Bridge on the River Kwai. Kwai is a very rude word in thai, its actually Khwae. Very nice blog
ptfan1 // July 5, 2009 at 6:41 am |
Sorry that you were/are ill, hope you have full reocovery and are kicking up your heels today. I was a Yankee Doodle Dandy yesterday and had family fun for 4th.
Progressing Our State! « eehard’s Weblog // July 6, 2009 at 5:51 pm |
[...] at a Las Vegas hotel. That’s the shock value. The relief came because I momentarily got Fakename to stop talking about the ravishing effects of this week’s stomach virus. Take some Pepto [...]
ptfan1 // July 7, 2009 at 5:21 pm |
“Here in Tallahassee, there is a hue and cry over a planned wildlife tunnel costing $3.4 million that is popularly known as the “Turtle Tunnel”. ”
I have zero confidence in the science of government supporting data. I have personally seen how flawed it is. I defy anyone to try and accurately quantify frogs and deer crossings of HWY 27 . That money could be better spent on humans, ie mental health facilities in Florida which continue to revert to 19th century effectiveness. It is heartless how government turns it back on humans but responds to non human emotional feel good stories.
If you want to see a real Florida tragedy spend a day in Chattahootchee.
ptfan1 // July 7, 2009 at 5:21 pm |
Or turtles or whatever.
fakename2 // July 7, 2009 at 5:57 pm |
I was afraid someone would come up with that argument. What percentage of a trillion is 3.4 million? While I can see your point, not only is it a drop in the bucket, it’s money allocated for transportation projects. Take it away and it goes to another road project–not to “people”.
Thanks for your well wishes–but so far they aren’t working
Also, thanks Ming for the correction and for the interesting fact about “Khwae”.
ptfan1 // July 8, 2009 at 7:46 am |
Sorry you are still under the weather. Hope you get well soon.
allocated for transportation projects. Take it away and it goes to another road project–not to “people”.
Money can be reallocated. The problem is a lack of advocay for “people programs” particularly mental health. The irony is that investing in people has a hell of a lot more roi potential than investing in turtles it’s just not as sexy to the Sierra Club crowd. (and I will leave that alone for now)
One really socially conscious governor could make a world of difference in our state, but I don’t see one on the horizon.