Sex and Washing Machines

Now I really don’t know anything about the connection between sex and washing machines though I’m sure there is one somehow.  No, today I was advising blogger Davis W (who appears on my blogroll) that he could dramatically increase the hits on his blog by always tagging each post with the word “sex”, even if it was a post about parts for antique Maytag washing machines.  Then I thought, wait a minute!  What am I doing?  Giving up a great idea for a story to a rival!  What was I thinking?

You’re probably thinking, surely there isn’t a market for parts for antique Maytag washing machines!  But you would be wrong.  Allow me to provide you with a little background.  For two thoroughly miserable, snow-filled years I lived in Iowa.  I can’t say enough good things about the people of Iowa, they were marvelous, but the weather was all sorts of depressing. 

I lived in Des Moines, the capital and largest city in the state, and nearby was a small town called Newton.  Long ago, there was a guy who lived there by the name of Fred Maytag.  (Not making that up either.)  Fred was a farm equipment repairman, and one day it dawned on him that the farming equipment repair business sort of took a turn for the worse every year during the 7 months of winter in Iowa.  So he took to making washing machines, although he didn’t invent them. 

Every year at the Iowa State Fair, they have an exhibit of old Maytag washing machines, and people come from far and wide to buy and sell parts for them.  I was especially impressed one year when an owner demonstrated an amazing invention Fred came up with, which was a machine that could wash your clothes and make ice cream.  At the same time, I asked?  I was pretty disappointed to find that you had to do one or the other, but you couldn’t do both at the same time.  Another high-tech feature of this machine was that it was operated with a foot treadle.  Prior versions always used some sort of hand action. This machine left your hands free to whittle or do needlepoint or some other craft, because it’s a requirement if you live in Iowa that you have some sort of hobby.  Otherwise, households all over the state would re-enact Stephen King’s “The Shining” every winter. 

Newton’s other claim to fame is that they make blue cheese there, which is called “Maytag” blue cheese.  I guess “Newton” blue cheese just didn’t have that snappy ring to it. 

So next time you’re doing the laundry and having some sort of fantasy about the spin cycle, think of Fred Maytag and have some cheese.