Sarah Palin and Pitbulls Without Lipstick

Some very funny stuff has been posted recently about the whole political process we’re enduring, and I do mean enduring.  To start with, The Miami Herald lost its mind and allowed humorist Dave Barry to cover the Olympics, and both the Democratic and Republican conventions.  I’ve been wanting to post a recent comment by Dave, but the Miami Herald has a very strict policy about reproducing its articles or any part thereof, including periods and commas which appeared in the newspaper, on pain of death.  But finally, on the off chance I won’t get caught, I’m reproducing this quote that I can’t resist.  (Dear Miami Herald:  Please, please don’t send the copyright police to my door.  My Doberman really hates copyright police.  Also, here’s a disclaimer:  I did not write what I’m about to say.  Dave Barry did!  In the Miami Herald!  Miami Herald, Miami Herald, Miami Herald!  You can see it yourself on www.miamiherald.com.  Is that okay?)

So while covering the Republican convention, Dave Barry had this to say about how they planned to differentiate themselves from the Democrats: 

“The Palin choice is only one of the storylines that will be developing here over the next few days. Another one will be the Republicans’ effort to contrast the tone and style of their convention with that of the Democrats, particularly Barack Obama’s now-legendary acceptance speech, which he read from stone tablets, in which he promised the American public that if elected he would give them peace, jobs, healthcare, national security, energy independence, good schools, a clean environment, reduced government waste, lower taxes, the head of Osama bin Laden, giant underwater cities, time travel, and a magic flying zebra named ”Sparkle” for every American pre-schooler regardless of income level.”

And now, about Sarah Palin and the Pitbulls, from the website of the comedian Andy Borowitz.  Since Andy doesn’t have any warnings…Wait.  What’s wrong with him?  Could it be that he doesn’t care how you hear about him as long as you do?  That if you like what you hear, you might want to go to his website for more?  Ha!  The Miami Herald could teach him a thing or two about protecting your intellectual property, and fading into oblivion while you’re at it!  In the interest of fairness, however, Andy’s website is www.borowitzreport.com.  Since he doesn’t have any scary warnings, I’ll post the entire content of his “Pitbull Shocker” essay: 

Pitbull Owners Blast Palin

Comparison ‘Offensive,’ Dog Fanciers Complain

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, who famously compared herself to a pitbull in her vice-presidential acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention, appears to have antagonized a key voting bloc in the upcoming election, the nation’s pitbull owners.

While Gov. Palin’s assertion that the only difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull was “lipstick” drew a loud ovation from the Republican faithful in St. Paul, it raised the ire of the Pitbull Anti-Defamation League, a powerful association of pitbull fanciers who monitor the portrayal of pitbulls in the media.

“As someone who has owned pitbulls for the past twenty years, my jaw dropped,” said Carol Foyler, the group’s executive director.  “Most of us are thinking the same thing: enough is enough.”

Ms. Foyler said that for pitbull owners who have grown weary of their prized dogs being defamed and mistreated, Gov. Palin’s wisecrack was the last straw: “We’re all like, first the Michael Vick thing, and now this.”

Tracy Klugian, an irate pitbull owner from Buffalo, New York, echoed Ms. Foyler’s sentiments: “I can think of many differences between pitbulls and Gov. Palin – for starters, pitbulls don’t try to get their ex-brothers-in-law fired.”

With Sens. Barack Obama (D-Ill) and John McCain (R-Ariz) fighting for every last vote, a coveted voting bloc like pitbull owners could very well decide the 2008 election, political insiders believe.

While Gov. Palin was not available for comment on the pitbull controversy, a spokesperson for the McCain-Palin ticket offered this official statement: “Gov. Palin does in fact have one thing in common with a pitbull: neither is capable of answering questions from reporters.”