We just experienced a thunderstorm here in Tallahassee which I would classify as Medium on the Fakename Thunderstorm Scale. The dogs apparently disagree, and have classified it as Serious on the Fakedog Thunderstorm Scale.
The fearless Doberman is cowering in the bathroom and refuses to come out. The 45 pound Girl Dog is trying to develop mouse bones so that she can crawl under the two-inch opening under the couch. The 25 pound Beast is hiding under a table. If you ever want to do harm to me, just show up during a storm.
The cat, meanwhile, is yawning and asking if she can go out yet. She can go out anytime she wants, but she objects to water falling on her from the sky. I know this because she tells me so, loudly. Like it’s my fault. Mere thunder and lightning are no obstacle. This is the cat who can get so spooked by a turtle that she jumps three feet in the air. Go figure.
This is a good time to remember that hurricane season, which lasts from June 1st to November 30th, is only days away. Time to stock up on bottled water, matches, charcoal, batteries, and the ever important Spam. And Jack Daniels. Oh you should also refresh your First Aid kit. I always forget that, because if a hurricane really affects me it will be because a tree fell on me. In that case, I’m going to need a lot more than a Bandaid and a weather radio.
If I sound flip, well, it’s because I am in a sense. There is only so much you can do. For those of you out there who think we are nuts to live in Hurricane Alley, I say to you: floods, tornados, earthquakes, ice storms, avalanches, and volcanoes. Our Governor Charlie (soon to be Senator Charlie, if I’m right) has been pushing for a national catastrophy fund, or CAT fund for short.
I second that motion, and so does Fakedog, who would like to come out of the bathroom.