Thunderstorms in Fakeworld

We just experienced a thunderstorm here in Tallahassee which I would classify as Medium on the Fakename Thunderstorm Scale.  The dogs apparently disagree, and have classified it as Serious on the Fakedog Thunderstorm Scale. 

The fearless Doberman is cowering in the bathroom and refuses to come out.  The 45 pound Girl Dog is trying to develop mouse bones so that she can crawl under the two-inch opening under the couch.  The 25 pound Beast is hiding under a table.  If you ever want to do harm to me, just show up during a storm. 

The cat, meanwhile, is yawning and asking if she can go out yet.  She can go out anytime she wants, but she objects to water falling on her from the sky.  I know this because she tells me so, loudly.  Like it’s my fault.  Mere thunder and lightning are no obstacle.  This is the cat who can get so spooked by a turtle that she jumps three feet in the air.  Go figure. 

This is a good time to remember that hurricane season, which lasts from June 1st to November 30th, is only days away.  Time to stock up on bottled water, matches, charcoal, batteries, and the ever important Spam.  And Jack Daniels.  Oh you should also refresh your First Aid kit.  I always forget that, because if a hurricane really affects me it will be because a tree fell on me.  In that case, I’m going to need a lot more than a Bandaid and a weather radio. 

If I sound flip, well, it’s because I am in a sense.  There is only so much you can do.  For those of you out there who think we are nuts to live in Hurricane Alley, I say to you:  floods, tornados, earthquakes, ice storms, avalanches, and volcanoes.  Our Governor Charlie (soon to be Senator Charlie, if I’m right) has been pushing for a national catastrophy fund, or CAT fund for short. 

I second that motion, and so does Fakedog, who would like to come out of the bathroom.



6 responses to “Thunderstorms in Fakeworld

  1. Actually there is a bit more you can do. The most important step is to not be in the path of a major hurricane so in order to evacuate properly you need to have plans in several different directions just in case. And monitor the shit out of where they are possibly going. In order to actually leave town you need to have a full tank of gas, many of us have back up gas as part of our contingency plans. Load as much food as you can in a cooler and throw out the rest. Hit the circuit breaker on your household power as you get into the car. You need to make sure that you have the proper allotment of prescription medication to withstand a long term disruption of power. You need to have plans for your pets and other elderly and young persons. Need to make sure that all battery operated lighting is actually working and that you have at least one B/O Lantern. Propane gas is preferable to charcoal cooking when possible. Have a couple hundred dollars cash on hand as power loss disrupts credit card usage. And the all important bathtub full of water for hygiene. Make sure that you have cell phone charger and a list of numbers that are important to you. It is best to travel in tandem if possible just in case of automobile trouble.

    Most importantly don’t wait till the last minute being hurricane ready comes with the territory, many victims are just poorly prepared.

  2. The likelihood of a hurricane hitting Tallahicky is quite remote due to steering conditions, etc. Once a hurricane gets into the Gulf, the normal steering pattern is towards the western panhandle, or further west towards ALabama/Miss/Louisiana/Texas.

    In the 38 years I’ve been in Florida, only Kate hit Tallahicky.

    Same for hitting Tampa Bay, although of course one did swipe it a few years back as it meandered north in a most unusual way.

    That Sunday thunderstorm was real cause for concern. I was in the middle of a poker tournie, was ahead and was afraid of losing power. Instead, I went on to finish 3rd, winning a handsome purse of 30 cents (net profit).

  3. Wow, pt, that was quite the comprehensive lesson on hurricane preparedness. But of course you are quite right about it all.
    It does seem that we are somewhat protected here, if only because we are 25 miles inland. But Tropical Storm Fay did a number on us, and there was that one hurricane that destroyed Angelo’s in Panacea.
    I’ve been on the fringes of several hurricanes, never in the path of a direct hit, and hope it stays that way. The worst disaster I ever experienced was the May 9th (1995) Flood in New Orleans, which was caused by a mere freak thunderstorm that lasted 6 hours. I hope to never go through a repeat of that either.
    And thank God you didn’t lose power, Anarchist…the loss would have been too great to bear 🙂

  4. “The likelihood of a hurricane hitting Tallahicky is quite remote ”

    Anarchist it is very dangerous to govern hurricane responses based on historic data. All it takes is 1. Ain’t like poker you can’t predict the odds every time and it’s the time you don’t that gets ya.

    In 1993 the no name storm killed 14 people in Taylor County with almost no warning at all. Wiped out Adams and Keaton Beaches and leveled homes that were not allowed to be rebuilt because of codes. It came up the flat coast like a monster in the night and went on to terrorize the entire East Coast.

    Afterwards, in recovery meetings I heard people laugh and say well we’ve had our storm of the century so we won’t have another in our lifetimes. Truth is one can occur at any time during the season……. anywhere.

    Tampa Bay has been very fortunate as far as a direct hit, but I have seen friends and family stay in waterfront homes that came within inches of being flooded and feet of being destroyed and smile and say “see I am a tough guy I ain’t runnin” and I think to myself…… won’t feel so tough sitting on your roof waiting for Godot.

  5. I just heard on the radio yesterday that Homestead, which was obliterated by Hurricane Andrew, is the exact same distance from the coast as Tallahassee. I first saw Homestead years later, and it was still mostly a big pile of rubble. If a CAT 5 hurricane hits Appalachicola, we are toast.

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