For some reason I haven’t been able to win any converts over to a guy named Davis W. whom I’ve listed on my blogroll. I don’t get it….I really don’t get why this guy hasn’t been nationally syndicated. He’s funnier than Dave Barry, which is high praise coming from me.
One of the things he routinely does, besides fake news reports, is website reviews. The most recent of which is www.mortuary.com. I was in stitches. Seriously, you will have to read for yourself, because I can’t do him justice, but just one quote: Speaking of one CEO’s message regarding a “growing customer base”, Davis says, In other words, they look forward to a day when everybody is dead. See it here: Davis W.
However, I was inspired to do my own search about cremation containers. There is just something bizarre about keeping ashes, the ultimate biodegradable entity, in permanent receptacles. Don’t even get me started on the necklaces you can wear that hold small amounts of the ashes of your beloved relative/friend/pet.
So for all you need to know, go to www.memorials.com. There you will find “Discount Urns”, starting at $27.95. I guess those are for people or pets you liked, but not too much. I mean, assuming that you are dead and won’t care, but how would you feel if you only rated a Discount Urn?
Some of the best are the “Sports Urns” (starting at $197.95). Your ashes can be kept in a ceramic replica of a golf bag. Nothing says “I love you” like that.
However, my favorite is “Biodegradable Urns” (starting at $97.95). As previously mentioned, ashes are already about as biodegradable as you can get. Why not just bury them in the back yard and skip the $97.95?
I actually get the part about keeping the ashes, at least for a time. It just gives you a little longer to say goodbye. But like…a Ziploc bag works just fine. That could be a new marketing strategy for them, what with that growing customer base.