No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service

Remember those signs?  So, Fakename was highly amused by the new sign on the door of her neighborhood liquor store, which reads:  We ask that you please wear a shirt and shoes before entering the store.  What is the world coming to, when even the liquor store has to be polite?  You know usually they have signs which say “No consumption of alcohol within 500 feet” or “This store is protected by Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson”.  Just so you know, Fakename was at the local liquor store because she had a wine emergency, namely, didn’t have any. 

Naturally, Fakename could not leave well enough alone and felt it necessary to question the clerk as to how much of a problem it was.  Are there just a whole lot of people trying to enter the store who aren’t wearing shirts or shoes?  I could understand if we were at the beach, but we’re 25 miles from the beach and it’s freezing cold out there (translation:  60 degrees).  Okay…maybe that explains it.  Anyone who isn’t wearing a shirt or shoes in this weather is definitely a lunatic. 

The ancient clerk (translation of ancient:  anyone who appears to be ten years older or more than Fakename) said, You would be surprised.  He said he could not believe that people would enter a liquor store without shoes on.  We have bottles, which break, he said, and although we try to keep it clean, you could cut your foot on glass.  He said they aren’t so strict about the No Shirt policy, because they get a lot of construction workers who remove their shirts after a hard day’s work.  Also, he said, we aren’t strict about it if you’re female.  Said with a totally deadpan expression. 

Now you see why Fakename puts herself out there this way.  For one, I’m just curious.  But if I hadn’t asked, I would never have learned that this guy is hilarious.  It fits with my world view:  Always be amused.  If you don’t see an opportunity, you can always find one if you’re open to it.

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2 responses to “No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service

  1. Maybe there’s a discount for ladies with no top? 😉

    I mean, if they show it in “Nawlins for just beads…

  2. You can come into my liquor store topless any time you want. But we draw the line at stinky feet!

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