There are apologies, and then there are apologies. Some things it just isn’t possible to apologize enough for. But fortunately most of us don’t have to make apologies on that level.
So I’ve been thinking about apologies in general, and it dawns on me that it is very hard. My observation is that most apologies fall into the catetory of: I’m sorry you took it that way. That’s the first category of apology. I’m sorry…but really, it was only because you took it the wrong way. This is a tricky category. If you don’t accept the apology, the blame shifts.
Category Two is….I really am sorry, but if you don’t instantly accept it, what can I do? You did or said something you truly regret. The person you did or said it to says they aren’t quite satisfied with that. You regress to Category One. You tried, what else can you do? The blame shifts.
Category Three: You really regret what you said or did. You apologize for real, without blaming the other person for their lack of understanding of what you really meant. That’s hard. Sometimes people forgive you, sometimes they don’t. One way or the other, it’s never all about you.
If I were going to have a religion, I’d be a Buddhist.