In general. I’ve been cautioned about generalizing more than once. Oddly enough, the people who tell me not to generalize are all men. Disclaimer: there are a lot of men I like. You just aren’t going to appear in this post.
I’ve had a bad week in the men department. At the heart of the issue is that I, and therefore my boss, report to a guy whose name appears in the dictionary next to “Napoleon complex”. He is short, but drives a honking big Ford F-150 pickup truck. With a gun rack. I totally rest my case.
The difficult part is…this guy has my number. He knows I’m chafing at the bit to kick his ass, but he knows I can’t. So he takes great pleasure in torturing me…only verbally of course. So this week, we had a conversation in which he told me I was incompetent for the gillionth time and I just said, “No. You’re wrong”. I had had it. And just in case you think this was over a critical operational issue, it was over a door handle. I am not kidding. It of course was not about the door handle, really.
Then my boss comes into town. Also a man, who wants to know why I can’t just take it. He says I know how this guy is, so why can’t I just take his admittedly clumsy and stupid attempts to control me and make himself look powerful? I said, “Because”.
So my boss meets with Napoleon, who says, “I like Fakename, why doesn’t she like me?’ How pathetic is that? In some alternate universe, you get to treat a woman like dirt, and she adores you anyway.
Just to put the icing on the cake, I was driving to my friend Judith’s house on Friday night and happened to hear this interview on NPR with gospel star Kirk Franklin, who has the nerve to pretend to be an expert on relationships. In the interview, he says that a woman’s role is to treat her man like a king. The interviewer says, So how should a man treat a woman?
Er, Um, he says. A woman should be treated…um well, otherwise, she won’t have the energy to treat you like a king. I’m the man, he says. I’m the head. Be sick along with me: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=127037862
I rest my case again. If you have to make yourself look good at someone else’s expense; if you can only be on top by pushing someone else down you are not a man by my definition.