Fakename’s Animal Planet: Special Edition

By popular request…okay, so it was a suggestion by Fakesister…today we bring you the Eastern Kingsnake. 

Eastern Kingsnake

Fakesister encountered this snake while riding her horse Hoover yesterday, so it’s a miracle Fakesister is still alive–not because of the snake, but because of the horse.  My entire knowledge of horses comes from Fakesister, and here is what I know:  horses are afraid of new things, of things that vaguely look like something you were afraid of last week, and something one of your ancestors was afraid of in prehistory when you were still a precursor to a horse. 

We know for a fact that Hoover is scared of water hoses, and a moving water hose-ish object would likely be too much to bear.  We can only conclude that Hoover didn’t see it. 

I am reluctantly adding the Eastern Kingsnake to my list of favored animals, because they eat things worse than them.  They are resistant to pit viper venom, so they eat other snakes, like copperheads, cottonmouths, rattlesnakes, and also rodents.  Unfortunately, they also eat things I like, like lizards, birds, and turtle eggs.  Of course, so does my cat, or at least she would if she could find any turtle eggs or birds that are slow enough.  I have yet to figure out how she catches lizards. 

Speaking of cats, you always think of cats as being totally fearless predators, but they are also smart enough to run away when they are outnumbered or faced with overwhelming force.  This week, my cat was faced with just such a situation.  For some reason, she likes to come in the bathroom just as I’ve finished my shower (possibly to see if any lizards have been flushed up) but on this particular day she was stymied by the prescence of two pink and gold flip-flops guarding the doorway.  She approached them carefully.  When neither of them moved, she leaped a foot in the air and sailed over them.  This prevented either of the flip-flops from reaching up and grabbing her by the cat equivalent of an ankle. 

It’s like the cat version of a teen slasher movie.  No!  Do not go into that deserted looking house, and whatever you do, don’t go in the basement!

3 responses to “Fakename’s Animal Planet: Special Edition

  1. A 4-foot section of self-animated hose would definitely be a bit much for Hoover under normal circumstances. However, in this case, the horse-whisperer, aka my trainer, was walking alongside and was between him and the hose, I mean, snake. Ergo all was well in Hoover’s reality.

    I still think he didn’t see it 🙂

  2. Most snakes are harmless, so I’m no sure why so many folks fear them.

  3. Yeah, I’ve no particular problem with snakes. There was a really big black snake that lived in the partition between my other horse and his neighbor in the barn for a while. It would drape from the ceiling, twine around the bars, and drink from his bucket. Lovely thing!

    Hoover just has a thing about hoses.

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