Happy Saturday to Fakename

I have had like the worst work week EVER.  This is akin to:  this is the coldest winter/hottest summer I’ve ever been through, I have the worst headache I’ve ever had, etc.  If you really think about it, you can think of worse weeks, winters, summers, and headaches.  But that’s a good trick of memory–it doesn’t allow you to really experience past pain to its fullest.  Seems like a good survival strategy to me.  You can only focus on the present and very recently past pains.  The better to dodge them. 

One of the very best ways to rid yourself of bad feelings and thoughts is to replace them with good ones.  Is that profound (and trite) or what?  You may not actually get rid of the bad stuff, but you can balance it out.  Call it Fakename’s Theory of Emotional Balance. 

Lucky for me, Saturday came along to balance out last week.  Two people did it for me: 

Fakesister.  As we do every week with rare exceptions, we started our day doing the NY Times crossword puzzle online together, remotely, considering she’s in Atlanta and I’m in Tallahassee.  It was a good puzzle and was kind of like the beds of the three bears in the Goldilocks fable.  It was neither too hard nor too soft.  It was just right.  However, we still wonder what a “fungobat” is.  In addition to the puzzle, we also chat, and today’s consisted of me whining a lot about my work week, but also about my computer problems.  Fakesister claims not to know much about PC’s, but she pointed me in several directions where I could look for answers.  Including one where she said Warning! Warning!  Do not make any changes here unless you absolutely know what you are doing!  Well, we already know I don’t know what I’m doing 🙂  I’m kind of like a data entry person.  I can use the programs, but I don’t really know how they work.  But lucky for me, I think I have fixed it based on Fakesister’s advice!  Cue the theme from “Rocky”! 

Yard Guy.  Just after hanging up with Fakesister, I went out and talked to Yard Guy who is always a pleasure.  Today’s topic was: insects.    We discussed the carpenter bee who is living in my picnic table, hornets, caterpillars, and banana spiders.  Along with a few other topics such as why his family drives him crazy, and why it would actually cost $1,800 to fix the scrapes on my baby Toyota, and why Geico is the worst possible insurance company to have.  Just like TV, right on cue, his sister and his mother drive into the neighborhood, pull up and slow down, and his mother rolls down the window and says, “Have you mowed my yard yet?”  You can practically hear him grinding his teeth when he says, “Not yet”.  So she says”Are you finished with Fakename’s yard?”  And I said, “Mostly.”  I was deliberately trying to get in the middle and defuse the situation.  But.  Then his sister starts talking about trying to move a shed from one place to another using a tow truck, and Yard Guy says “That won’t work”.  She acts like he’s speaking Russian.  In sign language. 

Besides replacing bad thoughts with good ones, that’s another thing that works:  seeing someone in worse shape than you are.  But that is a meager and flimsy and transient and uncharitable way to feel better. 

My work issues from last week still exist.  I will still have to deal with them next week.  But I’ve gained strength from these two marvelous people.


10 responses to “Happy Saturday to Fakename

  1. Fixing a PC based on my advice sounds like a fluke! A little knowledge and all that …

    I hope tomorrow’s crossword is also “just right”, unlike Friday’s which was a bit on the “too hard” side, if only because once I got the “trick” my brain insisted upon expanding it in directions is did not go.

  2. Fungo seems to be a trade name of a type of baseball bat used during fielding practice to loft balls. Spring it on your trusty assistant!

  3. NO, Fakesister, not a fluke! First I ventured into defragging, and it said 88% of your capacity is unused. “You do not need to defrag at this time.” Then I went to Norton (which I suspected was the problem all along), and told it to quit constantly checking and deleting temporary files from Windows and from Explorer. I do a lot of temp files (can you say, Facebook?) The computer has been blissfully quiet ever since. I can delete temp files myself with Disk Cleanup. I am blissfully happy myself!
    As for springing things on my trusty assistant, I doubt it will involve the brand name of a bat. It will be more like, Guess what? You’re fired.

  4. A fungo bat is a long skinny light bat that can only be used in practice. It is used while throwing the ball up and hitting it to the defense. It is not used to bat against pitching as it is too thin. Hitting a pop up to the catcher is particularly difficult without a fungo because one has to get under the ball to make it go straight up and bigger barrel bats are harder to manage since very little of the bat must actually touch the ball. Since the bat is much lighter a coach can get closer to the players to work on reflexes because the ball doesn’t come off the bat as fast.

  5. > $1,800 to fix the scrapes on my baby Toyota
    What? Some low life scraped your Toyota already/ O was that self-inflicted?

    > why Geico is the worst
    Enquiring minds want to know….or is it a coming blog?
    Post about it, e-mail the link to GEICO and you may see a change in attitude.

  6. Pt–thanks for that! (Fakesister, pt is the resident baseball expert.) Neither Fakesister nor I had ever heard of it. And that happens to us a lot. We’ll end up putting in a word because that’s the only thing it can be, sure that we must be wrong, and finding out we’re right. That’s how we learn stuff.
    SC–it was as you say, self-inflicted. If it were someone else’s fault, it would already be fixed! It’s very interesting, I scraped it (on both sides!) about 4 months after I got it. You would think it would be hard to get yourself into trouble in such a small car, but that is the very problem. I sort of have difficulty locating it in space 🙂 I misjudge where it is and how much room I have. After driving the same car (the Camaro) for 15 years and NEVER damaging it. I’ve had the same problem “learning” to operate the Toyota’s clutch. I’m an old hand at manual transmissions; been driving them all my life, and the Camaro was a 5-speed just like this one. But the amount of gas it takes at the precise moment where the clutch engages is entirely different. So to this day I regularly “kill” it, like a newbie.
    In his regular non-Yard Guy life, Yard Guy works for an auto body repair shop, and says they hate to see a car come in when Geico is paying for it. They lowball what they will pay or want you to fix it wrong. Geico also has a reputation for cancelling you if you ever have a claim.

  7. Back when dirt was new, Fakesister, newly married, bought a old Triumph TR6. Geico refused to insure it because the other half of our happy couple was under 26 and the Triumph was a “sports car”. Mind you, we already owned and insured a 1968 GTO. That was a muscle car and was apparently OK.

    Needless to say, we changed insurers. At the time, it didn’t cost us much more for the same coverage. Since then, we’ve insured everything with State Farm. Our agent just retired but his main assistant is working for the agent who took over our policies. We have all our vehicles insured with State Farm, the house, and an umbrella policy now.

    We’ve had only one big accident claim and State Farm ponied up to us, went to court with the uninsured motorist at fault, and never raised our rates. We’ve also had substantial claims for hail damage to the house roof, the 2 SUVs, and the van – all from one storm. Never a peep – just assess and pay.

    I don’t want to need them to pay up for anything but so far, more than 30 years, they’ve been easy to deal with.

  8. I never knew you had a TR 6! Apparently we share a love of sports/muscle cars 🙂 I share your admiration for State Farm. Too bad they cancelled me after 13 years. I now have Nationwide for car insurance, and Joe Fly By Night’s Acme home insurance, provided by the mortgage company. It’s mostly my own fault, but on the other hand, it’s Florida. Very hard to get insurance here.

  9. Cue the theme from “Rocky” …???

    Now you’re talkin’ my language, Fakename!

  10. Rocky…indeed 🙂

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