WHAT Is That Noise?

I’ve mentioned before that I’m either blessed or cursed with very acute hearing, depending on how you look at it.  I try to think of it as “blessed”, as if at least one sense got special attention while the others fall apart as expected.

So the occasion in this case is that last weekend, I settled down for a nice nap on the couch.  The lights were off.  The TV was on, but muted.  In other words, it was dark and quiet.  About the time I got comfortable, I heard this annoying clicking sound.

At first I thought it must be one of my toomanytocount electronic devices trying to send me a message I hadn’t heard before.  They do that, you know. Sooner or later, besides the normal messaages of “My battery is low” or “I’m fine now, disconnect me from the charger”, they will get all urgent about it and say things like “Help!  I detect a solar flare on the way and unless you disconnect me now, I will fry.  If you love me, please don’t let me fry!”  That kind of thing.

So, I raised myself up on one elbow, and what to my wondering eyes should appear but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.  No, I’m kidding.  What I saw was a cockroach.  Lurking just in front of the TV.   This roach was at least as big as the Empire State Building, possibly larger.  Perhaps I’m exaggerating.  But you could have at least put a leash around it and taken it for a walk.

Apparently my noticing it disturbed its ambiance, and it scurried–no, lumbered–from its position in front of the TV to somewhere under the coffee table.  And then the clicking stopped. I thought, You must be kidding me.  Cockroaches click?

Sadly, yes they do.  I was distressed to learn this.  By doing some Googling, I found out that in addition to the famous Madagascar Hissing Roach, some other roaches are able to make sounds, which Wikipedia describes as a chirp.  They should ask me.  It isn’t a chirp.  It’s a click.  And one of these operatically inclined chirper/clickers is the Florida Wood Roach.

Since I moved to Florida about 12 years ago, I learned that these roaches are called wood roaches, but who knew that was its real name?  Or that it is its own species?   (Eurycotis floridana).

I apologize in advance if you find yourself becoming nauseated.  Yeah, me too.  Normally I let the cat handle these kinds of issues, but even the cat will not tangle with one of these things.  So I had to go to Plan B, which is the Scarlett O’Hara option.

Allow me to introduce you.  I especially picked this particular photo with a person holding it, for perspective.  See what I mean?  It may not be the size of the Empire State Building, but it’s at least as big as King Kong.


5 responses to “WHAT Is That Noise?

  1. Yuck. That’s all I have to say.

  2. Seriously, Vanessa, I could not agree more.

  3. Would you rather have your large-ish roach or the miniature scorpion found in Fakesister’s bathroom?

  4. That is one nasty looking roach. Did you put out any boric acid powder?

  5. Excellent question, Fakesister. I pick the roach. Lucky for me, sc, these guys don’t really like living inside. They just occasionally wander in by accident.

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