Now you can hardly find a stauncher fan of Kindle (pause: I had to look up “stauncher”. It’s what I really meant, but was it really a word? Fortunately, yes, since I would have to flounder quite a bit to find some word or combination of words that would express what I meant.) We now resume our regularly scheduled programming.
Here’s the problem. For your best Kindling experience, you need Wifi. Preferably very fast Wifi which does not blip on and off. At home, I don’t even have the blipping kind. No Wifi, of any description. So. It is possible to get a book onto your Kindle by connecting it to your computer via a USB cable, not included with a Kindle Fire, but only $9.99 brand new, plus shipping, unless you’re an Amazon Prime customer, in which case for only about $65 per year they will waive that $3.99 shipping fee. Are you getting my drift?
But I have the USB cable. It’s just that I forgot how to use it. You’d think it would be simple. Amazon recognizes that your Kindle is connected to your PC and sends your book there. I realize that that’s actually a dream I’m having, because even I know that isn’t really possible. (But it should be.) And I need simple. I want to push a button, go Ding!, and poof! There it is.
Here’s my favorite thing: You look up a book, any book, on Amazon, and it says “Start reading Mary Had A Little Lamb in under a minute on your Kindle!” Well, don’t hold your breath. It IS possible, and sometimes happens, but only with Wifi. Otherwise, you will have raised several children and retired from your day job before ever finding out what color the lamb’s fleece is.
I’m quite serious. It takes about six steps to get the book onto your Kindle, if not more.
While I was waiting, I decided to check to see if the book I bought today had made it to my Kindle for PC (Free! As in, totally free, from Amazon. Which I think is very smart of Amazon.) And so, What Kindle for PC was I thinking of? It would not open. I still had an icon, but the actual program had somehow disappeared itself.
Back to Amazon. I re-downloaded Kindle for PC. By the time I went back and forth like 50 times to Amazon, I could have climbed to the top of the Statue of Liberty. Well, figuratively speaking.
By the time I was done with that, the book appeared in Kindle for PC. And then I had to start on the six steps to get it onto the Kindle.
The whole point was that I was hell-bent (pause: Is that a word? And if it is, does it have to have an apostrophe?) on getting this book my sister recommended TODAY! Not later, when I have access to Wifi.
The book is Rabid: A Cultural History of the World’s Most Diabolical Virus. Only now I’m too exhausted to read it. But tomorrow is another day.