Happy Thanksgiving…Unless You’re A Turkey

This year, while seeing pictures of President Obama and his daughters pardoning a turkey (and an alternate turkey, whatever that signifies), I learned something new–the pardoned turkeys live out their lives peacefully on George Washington’s estate at Mount Vernon.  Who knew it was a turkey sanctuary?

But this year, just like every other year since 2008 and every future year until the end of my life , I will  never think of Thanksgiving in the same way again.  That’s because 2008 was the year then-Governor Sarah Palin pardoned a turkey at a turkey farm in her hometown of Wasilla, Alaska. 

You just wanted to say to her, See, Sarah…this is why you need handlers when you’re in politics.  Anyone who cared about your future would never have let this happen.

Sarah first reads a proclamation pardoning the turkeys from inside the coop, with a lot of bustling turkeys milling around, then takes questions outside from the media.  While expressing gratitude and praise for this great country and its people, there is a guy standing behind her feeding turkeys head first into a machine that reminds me of the wood chipper in the movie Fargo.  However, I suspect it was less like a wood chipper and more like a guillotine; in any case, its purpose is to cut the heads off the turkeys.  And I suspect that the red things all over the table under the machines were turkey heads. 

Anyway, it being Sarah Palin, the irony was just too rich.  The term “fox in the henhouse” comes to mind. 

Thanksgiving Thoughts

Today I resolved to be thankful, and I’ve spent the day making a list of things to be thankful for.  My main problem is, I don’t know who to thank for the things I’m thankful for.  Sure, I know we’re supposed to be grateful to God, Whatever that is.  Already I guess you can see my problem. 

I decided not to let that stop me.  I’ll be thankful, and let God, Fate, the Universe, Accidents of Birth and Genetics sort it all out amongst themselves and decide who gets credit for what. 

First on my list is, I’m glad I’m not a turkey.  If I were, I’d be giving thanks that I’m not a turkey from Alaska.  Otherwise, I’m giving thanks that…

…it’s Clementine season!  Yesterday was the first time I saw them for sale, and I’d forgotten that besides having a fire in the fireplace, Clementines are another great thing about winter. 

…that I have two eyes and can see out of both of them.  That I can walk.  That I have a job. That I have a house to have a fireplace in.  That I have a wonderful sister and special friends, and the companionship of four very special animals (aka “Fakefamily”).  I’m thankful I’m alive to be thankful. 

There are probably fifty other things I could name, but I find there’s only so much thankfulness I can manage in one day.  Plus, I think it’s best to keep things simple. 

However you spent your day, I hope that you were thankful for it.